kimberly February 19th, 2010

As of today, Leah is legally our daughter!

Unlike international adoptions from other countries, those from South Korea are finalized here in Ontario, meaning that until now, our adoption agency’s lawyer was Leah’s guardian. In this case, just like with a domestic adoption, once Leah was placed with us we then had six months of progress reports filed before our social worker could recommend that the adoption proceed. The final report was filed in November and then a bunch of paperwork had to be completed and notarized before the adoption could be finalized.

Rather than have the final documentation mailed to us, we opted to have Leah’s adoption finalized in person (mostly for the photo op than anything else), so this morning we headed out to family court where Justice Sherr signed the documents that make us Leah’s family in a legal way. She stole our hearts long ago but now we have the paperwork to go with it.

When Adam’s adoption was finalized, the court stuff took place in the justice’s chambers, but this time we were in an actual court room and had to do the whole “all rise” thing when Justice Sherr entered. Very much more formal but equally emotional for both Todd and me. Adam and Leah really  seemed to get the importance of it all; both were completely riveted during the process.

So Leah is now officially a Roy and we couldn’t be happier. Even Adam was excited, which is saying a lot for a kid who tried to figure out how much money he needed to save up from his allowance to buy Leah a plane ticket back to Seoul.

Next stop: Canadian citizenship!

Tags: adoption finalization, adoption process, leah

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kimberly November 18th, 2009

It’s very faint, but I can just barely make out the light at the end of the tunnel. After four visits with our social worker (the last of which was this past Monday), he is now ready to submit his report to recommend that Leah’s adoption be finalized.*

Now we have to complete further paperwork that we received this morning from the lawyer’s office and eventually Leah’s file will make its way to the family court system. Apparently wanting to appear in court delays the process (versus having the documents mailed to us), but we went in person when Adam’s adoption was finalized and I enjoyed the “officialness” of it all, so I assume we’ll do the same for Leah.

I can’t wait till we’re finished with all the visits, paperwork, documentation, returned and revised paperwork, tax forms, applications and official stamps of approval (I think, for me, the end will be when we have a Canadian passport for Leah, which will probably be sometime in 2011.) See? I told you it was a rather faint light.

* Unlike most international adoptions, those from Korea are treated like domestic adoptions within Ontario, which means we go through a six-month probation period before we can legally become Leah’s parents. Once her adoption is finalized, we can then apply for Canadian citizenship on her behalf. The whole process is long and fraught with confusing paperwork (which may not be confusing to the average person, but when you’re this sleep-deprived, just about any paperwork that presents itself is confusing) and levels of bureaucracy I didn’t know existed.

Tags: adoption, adoption process, leah

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kimberly September 14th, 2009

It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that Leah’s been with us for nearly four months already. Some days it feels as though our relationship is still in that brand-new, tentative, on-your-best-behaviour stage and other days I can’t even reach back far enough in my mind to remember life without her. Leah has been incredibly crabby for the past few days, either due to cutting numerous teeth (maybe molars?) or she’s just screaming her little lungs out to see just how close to the edge she can push me before I tumble over. Whatever the reason, the pediatric Advil has been helping to keep the screams to a minimum.

Calming the screams was essential today, as we had our four-month appointment with our social worker, where he checks for dust and freshly scrubbed floors chats with us to see how we’re all doing. While I found these sessions intensely stressful after we’d brought Adam home, this time around I’m less concerned that the social worker is trying to trip us up. (And I didn’t even dust before he arrived. Seriously, he’s lucky most of the toys were picked up off the floor!)

From his perspective, our family seems to be adjusting well to one another, Adam’s jealousy and determination to send Leah back to Korea is normal, and Todd and I should continue to make time to pursue individual interests and spend time together. Nothing we didn’t know, but it’s nice to have your feelings validated by a professional.

Just one more appointment to go (in November) and then the social worker will prepare his final report so that Leah’s adoption can be finalized. Hopefully by early 2010, Leah will legally be part of our family. She’s already captured a good-sized chunk of my heart.

Tags: adoption, adoption process, leah, social worker

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kimberly March 20th, 2009

After rushing around on Tuesday to appointments with the doctor, lawyer and social worker, our completed paperwork is now back in the hands of the adoption agency.

Now we anxiously await the Letter of No Objection from the Ministry of Children and Youth Services so that we can in turn anxiously await the processing of Leah’s passport and visa.

In the meantime, we’ll be painting Leah’s nursery next weekend and I’ve started knitting her a sweater. Adam is definitely warming up to the idea of being a big brother, listing all the things they’ll get to do together (go to the park, visit the zoo, share a picnic lunch) but is quite adament that he’s “not that excited about it.” Okay, kiddo.

I still can’t believe that Todd and I are going to have a daughter, and am so excited I’ve had trouble sleeping, either unable to fall asleep at night or waking up far too early (this morning I awoke at 3:30 with no chance of getting back to sleep). As I’m trying to look on the bright side of things, at least it gives me a chance to work without interruption. Truly though, I’d rather be able to sleep, because by this afternoon, I’m going to be in desperate need of a nap.

Tags: adoption process, sleeplessness

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kimberly December 17th, 2008

After an unscheduled blog hiatus (due to feeling overwhelmed by work and then getting sick), I’m happy to now feel up to posting.

Last Tuesday, following a holiday luncheon with a client, I succumbed to a nasty virus that wiped me out for several days, which I then very generously shared with Adam. I called my mom to complain about how miserable I felt, only for her to suggest that perhaps I was pregnant. Um, no. I’m pretty certain that, having diagnosed fertility issues, the likelihood of me getting pregnant is pretty much nil. However, it appears that my mother still holds out hope for me to procreate. After all, everybody seems to know somebody’s hair dresser’s brother’s colleague’s cousin’s teacher who managed to get pregnant after having adopted. While these sorts of comments used to bother me, now I can just roll my eyes. Because really, it’s pretty rare.

And speaking of adoption, no, we still haven’t heard anything about a referral. We’ve just reached the two-month mark of our file being in Korea, and I had been cautiously optimistic that we’d find out something before Christmas. Unfortunately, the window of opportunity for that happening is rapidly closing and I’m trying to accept that we won’t hear anything till 2009. Referrals usually occur between two and eight months of your dossier being logged in Korea, so we could be waiting till next June to hear.

Since the Social Welfare Society in Korea strives to match families to children based on commonalities in their social histories and physical characteristics, the files aren’t processed in chronological order. So it’s a bit of a crapshoot as to how long you’ll be “in process” but I’m so grateful for the matching process. Everyone jokes that Adam couldn’t be more like us if we were related by blood; he seems to have developed many of our neuroses and quirks.

In the meantime, Adam continues to wonder about the baby (he’s decided Apricot would be a good name for a girl but doesn’t have any names picked out for a boy yet). We’ve had some fascinating conversations about the things Adam would like to do with the baby (help push the stroller, read to the baby, teach him/her math, push the baby on the swing) and things he’s worried about (there won’t be enough room in our bed for all of us — so maybe Daddy should sleep on the floor, the baby might hit / kick / throw toys / pull decorations off the Christmas tree / take my iPod). Adam also thought that he and the baby would have the same birth and foster parents; that was an interesting discussion!

And now, with the Christmas crunch on and in full swing, I have a million things to do before next Thursday. Including some baking with Adam. I’m thinking gingerbread…

Tags: adoption process, not pregnant, sick

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