kimberly February 19th, 2010
As of today, Leah is legally our daughter!
Unlike international adoptions from other countries, those from South Korea are finalized here in Ontario, meaning that until now, our adoption agency’s lawyer was Leah’s guardian. In this case, just like with a domestic adoption, once Leah was placed with us we then had six months of progress reports filed before our social worker could recommend that the adoption proceed. The final report was filed in November and then a bunch of paperwork had to be completed and notarized before the adoption could be finalized.
Rather than have the final documentation mailed to us, we opted to have Leah’s adoption finalized in person (mostly for the photo op than anything else), so this morning we headed out to family court where Justice Sherr signed the documents that make us Leah’s family in a legal way. She stole our hearts long ago but now we have the paperwork to go with it.
When Adam’s adoption was finalized, the court stuff took place in the justice’s chambers, but this time we were in an actual court room and had to do the whole “all rise” thing when Justice Sherr entered. Very much more formal but equally emotional for both Todd and me. Adam and Leah really seemed to get the importance of it all; both were completely riveted during the process.
So Leah is now officially a Roy and we couldn’t be happier. Even Adam was excited, which is saying a lot for a kid who tried to figure out how much money he needed to save up from his allowance to buy Leah a plane ticket back to Seoul.
Next stop: Canadian citizenship!
Tags: adoption finalization, adoption process, leah
kimberly February 17th, 2010
While the rest of Ontario celebrated Family Day on Monday, our celebration was today, the anniversary of the day Adam joined our family. I love getting to post this picture every year: our first family photo with Adam.
Happy Family Day!
Four years ago, Todd and I were sitting in our room at the SWS Guest House in Seoul, looking at Adam and wondering just when it would hit us that we were real, honest-to-goodness parents. I think it finally sunk in when we realized Adam’s diaper needed to be changed and we were going to have to figure out how to wrestle this squirmy bundle of energy out of his clothes with nobody to help us. Sadly, Dr. Sears did not seem to adequately cover diaper changing in the 700-page tome I’d packed in our carry-on luggage, though the section on burping a baby was very helpful.
Adam requested brownies for his special Family Day Dessert, so I made Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Vegan Brownies, which are quick and easy to make (perfect for weeknight baking).
My little chocolate monster declared them “awesome,” which is his current favourite descriptive word. He’s pretty awesome, too, if I do say so myself. I consider myself so very privileged to experience the joy that is parenting Adam. And the fact that he’s a fellow chocolate lover doesn’t hurt.
Tags: adam, family day
kimberly November 18th, 2009
It’s very faint, but I can just barely make out the light at the end of the tunnel. After four visits with our social worker (the last of which was this past Monday), he is now ready to submit his report to recommend that Leah’s adoption be finalized.*
Now we have to complete further paperwork that we received this morning from the lawyer’s office and eventually Leah’s file will make its way to the family court system. Apparently wanting to appear in court delays the process (versus having the documents mailed to us), but we went in person when Adam’s adoption was finalized and I enjoyed the “officialness” of it all, so I assume we’ll do the same for Leah.
I can’t wait till we’re finished with all the visits, paperwork, documentation, returned and revised paperwork, tax forms, applications and official stamps of approval (I think, for me, the end will be when we have a Canadian passport for Leah, which will probably be sometime in 2011.) See? I told you it was a rather faint light.
* Unlike most international adoptions, those from Korea are treated like domestic adoptions within Ontario, which means we go through a six-month probation period before we can legally become Leah’s parents. Once her adoption is finalized, we can then apply for Canadian citizenship on her behalf. The whole process is long and fraught with confusing paperwork (which may not be confusing to the average person, but when you’re this sleep-deprived, just about any paperwork that presents itself is confusing) and levels of bureaucracy I didn’t know existed.
Tags: adoption, adoption process, leah
kimberly October 20th, 2009
Yesterday marked Adam’s first opportunity to “show and share” at school (apparently “show and tell” is no longer the phrase used). The topic this month is Me and My Family (apparently Show and Share is a monthly activity in kindergarten) and Adam was pretty excited to tell his teacher (and, to a lesser extent, his class) all about being born in Korea and moving to Canada.
As you can see, he took in his Korean flag (which was given to him by the adoption agency in Seoul) and he’s wearing a gold charm from his birth mother, which he proudly shared was from his other mummy. As an aside, he’s been keenly interested in wearing said charm for the past couple weeks and is thrilled that his Korean name and birth date are on the back of the little boy. Rounding out the collection of items was Adam’s photo album of pictures taken when he lived with his foster family.
So for the past week, I’ve been helping Adam practise his little presentation, encouraging him to share whatever he felt comfortable sharing while making sure that his thoughts were coherent. He was getting slightly frustrated with having to practise, and finally, on Sunday night, he asked if we could print out his speech and he would just read it to the class. Bingo!
Monday morning I sat in front of the computer and he dictated while I typed. Suddenly, he felt so much more confident (because he wasn’t worried about forgetting anything) and happily read (and then put to music) his presentation. I suggested he forgo the music this time around and instead concentrate on reading slowly and clearly (already he’s a bit of a speed reader — just like me). This was Adam’s first opportunity to share his adoption story and I thought he did an excellent job of explaining how all the people in his life fit together.
According to Adam, Show and Share went amazingly well and he can’t wait to do it again next month. The kids asked him how to say hello in Korean and a few other questions he felt able to answer. Today I spoke with his teacher and she told me his story gave her goosebumps. Awww…
Now, how do we top this next month?
Tags: adam, adoption, show and share
kimberly September 14th, 2009
It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that Leah’s been with us for nearly four months already. Some days it feels as though our relationship is still in that brand-new, tentative, on-your-best-behaviour stage and other days I can’t even reach back far enough in my mind to remember life without her. Leah has been incredibly crabby for the past few days, either due to cutting numerous teeth (maybe molars?) or she’s just screaming her little lungs out to see just how close to the edge she can push me before I tumble over. Whatever the reason, the pediatric Advil has been helping to keep the screams to a minimum.
Calming the screams was essential today, as we had our four-month appointment with our social worker, where he checks for dust and freshly scrubbed floors chats with us to see how we’re all doing. While I found these sessions intensely stressful after we’d brought Adam home, this time around I’m less concerned that the social worker is trying to trip us up. (And I didn’t even dust before he arrived. Seriously, he’s lucky most of the toys were picked up off the floor!)
From his perspective, our family seems to be adjusting well to one another, Adam’s jealousy and determination to send Leah back to Korea is normal, and Todd and I should continue to make time to pursue individual interests and spend time together. Nothing we didn’t know, but it’s nice to have your feelings validated by a professional.
Just one more appointment to go (in November) and then the social worker will prepare his final report so that Leah’s adoption can be finalized. Hopefully by early 2010, Leah will legally be part of our family. She’s already captured a good-sized chunk of my heart.
Tags: adoption, adoption process, leah, social worker
